I have a client who tells me that she had a really boring, loving and normal childhood. Her family all supported her growing up. There was no abuse. They all had enough to meet their needs and not so much as to be bothered with issues of worthiness or entitlement. So why, she wondered, did she struggle?
There is more drama in past life memories of being burned at the stake and having that explain a shyness to expose talents, particularly related to using intuitive gifts. Those are the stories that really get our attention. For one thing, they are lots of fun. Sort of like choosing to watch an epic historical movie starring a gorgeous Hollywood movie star, rather than watch a stranger’s home videos of the kids running through the sprinkler in the backyard.
But in actuality, what triggers unwanted behaviors can have its origins in this life, in something mundane. One woman found herself anxious if she needed to make quick decisions. In regression therapy, she discovered that at the age of two, she’d climbed up onto a dresser to look at a piece of her mother’s jewelry and had fallen off. That imprinted a notion that she needed to protect herself from her impulsive nature by forcing her to slow down.
There may be a past life where she acted impulsively and met with some horrible fate, and so when she fell off the dresser, that memory triggered this reaction. But it became enough for her to remember the incident from her childhood so that now when she begins to feel anxious, she can choose for herself whether or not that is a reasonable response, rather than feeling like the choice has been mysteriously made for her.
A novelist turned to regression therapy to better understand why she would fill up her writing time with coffee dates and appointments when she really wanted to work to instill in herself a solid writing schedule. In her regression, she returned to kindergarten, seeing vividly the colorful classroom, and the way the art area was tucked around a corner behind the bathroom and coat closet. She saw herself, with her oversized paint shirt on, lost in the inspiration of painting at the easel, a big brush in hand. The revelry of that free flowing creativity abruptly came to an end when the teacher scolded her for not joining the rest of the class for story time. She’d not heard. She suffered the humility of being scolded and then having to clean up while the other children watched and giggled. From then on, she had been vigilant in guarding against getting so far drawn into her creativity that she might miss something important.
Now she knows she has tools to bring her back from her daydreams when the time is right. Neither the writer, nor the woman who rejected impulsive behavior suddenly became cured. They do, however, have new ways of thinking that can be reinforced by practice and a little bit of time. They have information to help them to feel empowered about their choices and behaviors.
Having a happy childhood is something to count as a blessing, but even in those idyllic settings, little incidents can set off troublesome behaviors. So whether it is a battle scene from the Civil War or a fight with your sister over who’s turn it is to flip off the bedroom light, Regression Therapy can lead to understanding our own behaviors and then deciding if they still work for us or not.
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