My energy is muted right now. I can actually feel it. There is a sense of peace first, something akin to grace. I am waiting. The world around me feels as though it is rushing, and rushing me, and I am compliant in doing my part. Yet, the tendrils of energy that usually wrap around the forward trajectory to help me keep up are at the moment curled in on themselves.
Usually patience is difficult for me. The pushing forward comes from inside. This doesn’t seem to be the case now, however. There is no hurry, except from the outside. It reminds me of those movies we’re shown where time lapse is utilized as a single person stands still amidst the chaos.
Judy, a friend and fantastic massage therapist and Reiki practitioner at Brigid’s House, did a little work for me today. We are both working at Brigid’s House on Wednesdays, which absolutely thrills me. Today has been a perfect fall day with temperatures in the high 60s, a gentle breeze, bright sunshine and no bugs. That translates into a slow time here at work. My right eye is giving me troubles and I asked Judy to do some Reiki for me.
I could go into the biological history of my poor eyes, but to do that is to miss the message. After Reiki, Judy shared with me some of the impressions she picked up. In the course of our discussion, I heard myself say, I just can’t see what’s in happening in the future, so I’m reserving my energy.
“I just can’t see.”
When the future is murky, it is hard to charge into it with an open and trusting heart. Judy said she felt a little bit of fear in my body, and also a reassurance that there is a loving force beaconing me forward. Faith, she said, is the opposite of fear. As Judy put it, closing down the heart doesn’t make you safer.
So here I go—forward. Open hearted. Praying for more faith.
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