I don’t know what I need, but I need something,” she said when she called a couple of weeks ago to make an appointment. This client has been on a dedicated path towards becoming her authentic self for several months using hypnotherapy. Originally she’d come to see me to deal with relationship issues and lose some weight. So far she’s lost twenty pounds, and though she is coming to see herself in a new way, at times, the rest of the world isn’t quite handling the transformation. I know this place of frustration so well myself. Everything seems to be falling into place, with new self-awareness, a hopeful outlook. The road ahead looks bright and sunny, and then….well, the clouds roll in.
There is a book by Jack Kornfield entitled, After the Ecstasy, The Laundry. What he is referring to is that wonderful feeling we have when we are in the flow, one with God and the Universe. And then we lose it in the muck of our every day lives. Someone once asked Edgar Cayce how to hold onto that ecstasy. His answer was that we should bring up a memory of how it felt. If you can remember the feeling, you can return to it.
While I was studying for my masters at Atlantic University, I took a class on Buddhism. I’m familiar with the Buddhist ideal of nonattachment and right living, and working towards awakening, but what I wasn’t prepared for was the idea that once Nirvana is attained, it isn’t expected that one should stay there, but rather, that enlightened beings should return to serve and assist others; this is the bodhisattva. Growing up Christian, the idea of making it safe into Heaven always seemed the most important prize and all behavior, moral fortitude and choice of friends were informed by that last goal. “Well done, good and faithful servant.” The Buddhist idea of coming back to help the slackers and stragglers? A bit like doing the laundry. Yet, it is what Christ did for us as depicted in the New Testament, so maybe it isn’t strictly a Buddhist ideal after all.
Still, that hardly seems our trouble at the moment. At the moment, it is the bloom going off the rose. It is when those pounds have dropped off and then the excitement of watching them drop, drops off. That, my friends, is the laundry. It is great to have renewed self-esteem, more controlled and healthy habits, and a clearer understanding of your personal relationships, but it never stops there.
For the client who didn’t know what she needed, ultimately what she received was encouragement from her own highest self and from those in spirit who love her unconditionally. What she gained for a while anyway is peace of mind. We both know that life will continue to throw around that sticky mud and we will often be blindsided by it, but she is dedicated to this journey she is on, and because of this, she also knows that the fun and joy of it are ever present and patiently waiting, as Cayce advises us, to be remembered.
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