The Beast
My client, I’ll call him Andrew, first came in with a goal to gain healthier eating habits. We’ve been working together for some time now on what motivates him and his behaviors and how to live his life as authentically as possible. In a previous session, we had done Parts Therapy—a therapeutic modality that calls out the conflicting parts of the personality, gives the different parts a voice, and then my job is to mediate a solution to the problem. Andrew’s parts, the part that motivated him to eat junk food, was not at all trusting of the part of Andrew that motivated him to reach his highest potential. To help me, I asked if there was another part of Andrew willing to assist? That was the first time I met the Observer, as he identified himself. It was clear that Observer had a great, almost scientific wisdom and though unwilling to judge or change Andrew’s behaviors, he was generous with insights on what he “observed” about Andrew.
Observer showed up again at a more recent session. In the trance state during a past life regression, people will sometimes change their speech. They may take on an accent or begin to use words more common to another era. Observer’s voice was totally different than Andrew’s. His pacing was much slower and analytical in nature putting me in mind of Spock from Star Trek.
I asked Observer for help in understanding Andrew’s compulsions to eat junk food even though he is in every other aspect of his life devoted to a healthy lifestyle and even teaches others about nutrition as part of his work. Observer said that Andrew was on a quest and that in order to move ahead in his quest he had a task to complete first. Here is what Observer told me.
“One needs to conquer the beast in order to understand it. Understanding then garners wisdom. So in order to gain the wisdom from this experience, I dare say he needs to conquer this beast first. For wisdom will be hard forthcoming, shall it not, if the beast is not conquered. But once this wisdom is gained, it will be forever.” (I asked Observer about the weapon Andrew needed to conquer this beast.) “Thus, I think is at the root of his quest. Me thinks the weapon sought is but not yet found. In order to find the weapon, in order to find a tool for that which he seeks he must first determine the nature of the beast to be conquered. In looking for a weapon of earth… to kill a beast of fire would be foolhardy. If the beast is of fire he must need a weapon of fire.” (Could he use water I asked.) “Perhaps, but then the beast will be vanquished, rather than to be conquered and controlled. That is to be determined. To learn it, indeed to know it, defeat it, capture it, control it. Because this beast, I fear, is part of him. [He should] look inside. Discovering who the being is—this fragment of energy—and why he is here will help him determine what lessons have already been learned but yet to be assimilated. But that is only a start.”
Each of us has our own beast. A few minutes after Observer gave this instruction, he helped Andrew to see his own beast and Andrew was able to come to a place of accepting it without judgment; judgment that had been put upon the beast, not by Andrew, but by the fears of others. Ultimately, the beast revealed itself as a teacher not just for Andrew, but also for those around him.
How much energy do we spend trying to kill off the parts of ourselves we are scared of, ashamed of, horrified by? As Observer points out, this is foolhardy.
I was walking on the heartland trail this week with my friend Lisa and her dog, Zoey. Zoey usually will take her leash in her mouth and walk herself. Zoey was uncharacteristically leaping around us, nearly tripping us, and grabbing her leash in mouth and flinging it at us. I told Lisa that I thought Zoey wanted her to actually hold the leash and walk her like a normal dog. When Lisa tried, Zoey zipped around playfully out of reach, then immediately came back after grabbing her leash again in her mouth. Suddenly, I got it. I thanked Zoey and told her she could run on up ahead now that I understood her message. Within moments, Zoey was off scouting out the hidden scents along the trail.
Zoey taught me that when we conquer our beast, it becomes a companion, no longer out of control. This was Observer’s wisdom and I am grateful to Andrew for allowing me to share it.
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