6a00d8341bfed353ef0147e300ec3a970b-320wi Years ago I used self-hypnosis to diagnose a physical problem I was having with my foot. I would go into a quiet, meditative state, and then imagine being able to invite my sore foot into a conversation. “Hello Foot, I am feeling your pain. What is it you want to say to me?”

Foot only answered one way. “Slow down.”

So I slowed down a little bit, and waited and my pain did not go away. I’d have the conversation again and get the same response. “Slow down.”

This went on for two years until I had dropped one of my two part-time jobs, left two board positions and said “no” to almost every thing. After spending thousands of dollars with physical therapists, podiatrist, and massage therapists with no results, my life slowed down enough that the pain went away.

Lesson learned, right?

Part of the lesson was learned, the first part about slowing down. The thing is that where I was living, I knew that within a matter of weeks, I could spin my life back up to super busy if I wanted to, and the reason I might want to was so I could feel useful, relevant and important, to feel I had value.

Then we moved away to a new state. No one knew me. No one cared that I had experience reading cards, guiding past life journeys, serving on boards, raising children, or in running businesses. No one even knew my name. At first this was exhilarating. The opportunity to create myself anew felt fresh and expansive. Then, it felt frightening. Everywhere I went to see if I could find my tribe to give me value became an exercise in disappointment. I seemed to meet mostly people who mirrored my fears to me, using those fears to drum up business. Time and again I’d come home and think, “Not the sandbox I want to play in.”

My hip and leg began to hurt. In conversations with the parts in pain, I heard, “We are not safe moving forward, yet.” I needed to learn my own value

What I’m learning now is contentment in the stillness.

Stillness is not the same as inaction, or being frozen in place. Stillness is perhaps the exact opposite of that. In yoga, there is a pose called Easy Standing pose. Simply standing. One of my teachers told me about an ad2vanced practice where she was required by her teacher to remain in Easy Standing for hours. 

I am recognizing that there is a balancing of busyness and stillness. I am not certain what my final perfect balance will be but I am certain that when the pain subsides, I will know I’ve found it. I suspect the outcome of the Stillness Lesson will be something best described as contentment. Or as my yoga teacher, Shelley Adelle, said shortly after I wrote the first draft of this blog, “Resist the urge to push further. Make a choice to be content with the task at hand.”

    Snake Lesson
    Potential outcomes in a tarot reading

    One Comment

    1. 4-28-2016

      Love this!! Well said. 🙂

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